THROUGH NO FAULT OF HIS OWN, FELIX LOSES AND I GO HOME TO WATCH FIELD OF DREAMS AND CRY

All the feels.

Joe Baseball

My father has the tendency to over congratulate mediocre things. For example, he often goes through a play-by-play of his day with me over the phone, and it usually includes his stop to McDonald’s for a cup of coffee. “Their coffee is really good,” he says. Is it actually REALLY good? I’m not saying their coffee is bad; it’s actually pretty good, but I wouldn’t call it, “really good” coffee.

I took him to the ballgame yesterday to watch Felix pitch. We stopped for a hotdog and they were okay, not great, but not bad. Approaching the security line to get into Safeco dad said, “You know something, that hot dog was really good.”

Dad’s a pitching fan, especially pitching artists like Jamie Moyer. Before he even read the article I posted last week about Moyer, we discussed him over the phone and Dad pretty much said everything that…

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JAMIE MOYER: OLD AGE, TREACHERY, AND WHAT THE KING COULD TAKE FROM HIS LEGACY

“Jamie Moyer found success when he mastered the art of deception, subdued the fickle twins of accuracy and consistency, and inculcated through his years of tribulations a sturdy belief in himself and his abilities.”

Joe Baseball

By first pitch on September 22, 2003, in Anaheim, CA the Seattle Mariners were two games behind the Boston Red Sox in the AL Wild Card race and four back from AL West leaders, the Oakland Athletics, with six to play. The 19-win, tall and frail looking pitcher who made a career of defying time and baseball logic, Jamie Moyer was on the mound—his compact stance just one feature of his technical gambit. It was a must-win game. Never mind that it would be his 20th win; the M’s were in a must-win position to stay relevant in the 2003 postseason chase.

Since 1996, the year he became a Mariner, Moyer’s career clicked into place. Beforehand, he had struggled. He was drafted in the 6th round by the Chicago Cubs in 1986 and was traded to Texas in 1989. After a year, he was bounced to St. Louis…

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MARINERS GO POLE-TO-POLE IN RECORD-SETTING COLD

Joe Baseball

27 degrees at first pitch was the coldest start ever in Seattle Mariners and Minnesota Twins history. However, with the M’s 3-for-29 the last two games with runners in scoring position, they would have to fight the urge to curl up and fall asleep in the dugout to bust up the scoring iceberg.

Yet, Twins pitcher, Jose Barrios, dawning short sleeves and a curve so wicked he could tell you he was going to throw it and you still couldn’t hit it, appeared to be enjoying the cold as he retired the first 10 batters he faced. However, with one out in the top of the 4th inning, Jean Segura got to second base on a throwing error by Twins’ third baseman, Miguel Sano to break up Barrios’ no-no. Then, team hero and cold weather hater, Robinson Cano became the first to bring the ax down on the scoring…

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Bottom of the 5th: THE WORST INNING OF MY LIFE

Sometimes I hate baseball.

Joe Baseball

Okay, so maybe not the worst, but the bottom of the 5th was bad. Felix Hernandez was throwing goose eggs and had already given up four runs on four hits with three walks. His location was off and his pitches looked flat—flat like the contents of an old 2-liter bottle of root beer from last week flat. San Francisco first baseman, Brandon Belt had already roped an RBI single off Felix in the first and looked eager to add to the Giants’ pizza party. He hit a bomb and made it 5-0.

I was sipping on a bottle of Coors NA at the Sloop when the bartender saw that Felix was imploding and decided to cheer us up with a bizarre story about a homeless guy that shimmied in between the floors of the Ballard Smoke Shop and fell through the ceiling of the bar, picked himself up and…

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